Of late I have been wondering what people feel like when they get divorced. I don't mean what celebrities like Britney Spears feel on getting divorced. I mean people who take marriage seriously. People who take relationships serioulsy. What do they feel like when a relationship falls apart, a relationship in which they have have invested years of their life. How hard would it be to admit it that it will no longer work, no matter how hard you try. How do they convince themself that no matter how nice their "spouse" was they were just not meant to be togther.
Lately I heard of a lady whose marriage fell apart after 27 years of marriage. All her friends could say was "he was no-good". Well, after 27 years does it make sense to say that ? What about how she held the family together for 27 years ? Didn't that count ? Well maybe it didn't and that's why they got divorced eventually.
Lately I heard of a lady whose marriage fell apart after 27 years of marriage. All her friends could say was "he was no-good". Well, after 27 years does it make sense to say that ? What about how she held the family together for 27 years ? Didn't that count ? Well maybe it didn't and that's why they got divorced eventually.
One thing which never ceases to amaze me is how they gather the courage to pick the pieces of their life together and move on. How do you get used to living a life where you don't see the same face every morning, hearing the same voice everyday seeing the same smile. How do you get used to not talking to the same person everyday, sharing your life with them as you always did ?
And does it ever feel like that it was a waste of some of the most precious years of your life ? How do they convince themselves that letting go is the only option, the only solution. Doesn't the idea of building life from scratch frighten them ? And yet they take this decision. It's sad and depressing but do they eventually find what they were hoping from, peace of mind. I am not sure. But I sure hope they do, because starting over requires an immense amount of courage and determination.
4 comments:
a difficult question : to me it often looks like relationships are built on irrationality, it cannot be defined why one loves a person and so probably breakups are also irrational...... it cannot be explained logically, it just happens. but if we do not have hope and courage, what are we going to survive with and make progress? kehte hai : ummid par duniya kayem hai.
Investing time, paitence and compromising ego is vital for a relationship. In case of marriage the investment is along a long timeline. But use of little psychological tools sometimes could be lifesaving for the relationship.
Its all easier said than done, but once you cross the fence, it is not that bad when you look back. You know you have moved on when you can reminisce the good times and smile at them... you know you've moved on when you can no longer think about the nasty moments...
As Munna bhai once said - "fir apne mohalle mein Aishwarya ayiii!"
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