Saturday, 18 July 2009

The Last Promise

So I promised to erase the last memories I have, promised the person who walked out of my life without a single regret. Maybe I am being harsh, maybe he was not so happy about the state of affairs, maybe he was sorry too, but he did leave me. He broke all those promises he made. So do I owe him anything? I was always honest with him, never lied never reneged on any promise I made until now. Unfortunately enough when he made me promise he remembered that I have always lived up to all my promises, he simply forgot that he had no right to make me promise anything.
I broke my last promise. I am not proud of it but I couldn't do what he asked me. And strangely enough I have no regrets. He worries that I shall use them to hurt him someday. To me they are just good memories of time long past. I shall erase them when I think the time is right. Whatever I am, I am not evil and I will never do him any harm. Sadly enough, he never believed that. Today I am free to make my own decisions about how I live and die, so why not be free to decide what I shall keep and what I won't. The day I feel that these memories are just burdens of my past I shall get rid of them. Until then I shall retain them like the memories I have .

Wednesday, 15 July 2009


I just celebrated my birthday and am a year older now. And then I wonder when did I really grow, at the turn of the hour at midnight or every moment of the past year ? The year which like many others taught me some new lessons and some which I chose to ignore. The year which reinstated my faith in the fact that I am strong enough to survive anything but still weak somewhere. I learnt that I can live without anyone and everyone but still learnt to love every person in my life even more. The year which taught me happiness is fleeting but I shall still run after it. I learnt so much yet know so little. I don't want to undo my past, I haved grown older but I still want all I lost. A chance to get it all back. Maybe a year from now I will have found everything I ever wanted or maybe I shall just be blogging about all that I learnt and didn't learn again.