Monday, 1 March 2010

Thinking Aloud

Another month and the pit at the bottom of my stomach still lurks. A fear that I might fail, a fear that I may lose, no matter what I do I cannot seem to get rid of it. I promised myself a few things last month and I managed to stick to most of them. However my left and right brain are still fighting. I am still looking back at things which I know I cannot undo and which I would rather not undo.
Am I a masochist ? Does inflicting pain on myself make me feel better ? In a way I think it does, well not really make me feel better but I guess I think forgetting stuff is insensitive and if I am remembering them I am probably making some amends ... ummm.. in some twisted way.

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